 In leadership—whether you’re running a martial arts dojo, leading a corporate team, or mentoring young students—there’s a truth we all face sooner or later: Even when you’re right, things can still go wrong. Today, I had a conversation with a parent who questioned our membership hold and cancellation policy. From the beginning, I responded with transparency. I explained that we don’t lock families into contracts, that our 30-day cancellation policy is posted clearly on our membership registration page, and that holds are a courtesy—not a contractual guarantee. I even backed it up with screenshots from our registration platform. Still, the message didn’t land. They hadn’t remembered seeing the information, didn’t recall agreeing to it, and felt it was unfair to enforce it now. Despite the facts and fairness of the policy, their experience felt like a violation of trust. In the end, they chose to cancel their child’s membership. And if there’s any real loss in that decision, it isn’t mine—it’s the student’s. The child showed genuine potential. They enjoyed class. They were building confidence, sharpening focus, and growing as both a martial artist and a leader. That momentum is now paused—not because they weren’t ready to continue, but because a policy disagreement got in the way of their path forward. 💡LEADERSHIP LESSONS 1. Clarity ≠ Connection You can say everything right, but if the other person feels unheard, it won’t matter. Leaders must prioritize how messages are received—not just how clearly they’re delivered. 2. Policies Are Tools, Not Shields It’s tempting to fall back on “the rules” when challenged. But great leadership means explaining why the rules exist—how they protect the team, balance fairness, and preserve trust. 3. Emotional Intelligence Wins I could’ve responded with defensiveness. Instead, I chose calm, empathy, and perspective. In martial arts, we teach students to respond without escalation. This was no different. 4. You’re Always Representing the Mission Even in disagreement, my words reflected the values of Kinchen Martial Arts Academy: clarity, compassion, and character. That’s the kind of leadership I want my students to model--not just in sparring, but in life. Not every conversation ends in agreement. But every moment is a chance to lead with integrity—even when it costs you. If you train to lead, you have to lead—especially when it’s uncomfortable. 
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 Not long after earning my 1st Degree Black Belt, I was invited by my instructor, Mr. Oliver Miller, to compete as part of a 5-person team at a traditional Karate Kumite tournament at Delta State University. The team was handpicked by his instructor, Grandmaster D.J. Sias—two elite fighters, Mr. Miller himself, and to my surprise, me and fellow student Tom Brocksmith. When we arrived and met the rest of the team, I felt humbled and honored to stand beside some of the best martial artists I had ever seen. The tournament followed Traditional Karate Kumite rules: first to 5 points wins, with standard target zones—except for one. Unlike other tournaments I’d competed in, this one allowed groin strikes. When I was paired with my opponent, I let him know I wasn’t wearing a groin protector and suggested we agree as gentlemen not to strike there. He declined, saying he wanted to follow the rules. I suspected he thought my inexperience with this rule would be a disadvantage. What he didn’t realize: there’s a difference between not knowing something—and choosing not to use it. As we faced off, I used a variation of a front kick (what I knew then as a flip kick) and struck him in the groin using the top of my foot. It was a kick unfamiliar to him and difficult to defend against. I followed up with four more quick points, winning the match 5–0. That moment taught me more than how to adapt under pressure—it taught me about leadership. 3 Leadership Lessons from the Mat: 1. Leadership Chooses Preparedness When the stakes are high, leaders choose those who’ve shown results, not those with the most flash or talk. Consistent performance earns trust when it matters. 2. Don’t Underestimate Others Based on Surface Details Making assumptions about someone’s experience, skill, or readiness without deeper understanding can lead to missed opportunities—or unexpected defeat. 3. Know the Difference Between Can’t and Don’t Competence is more than what you show--it’s what you reserve until the right moment. Great leaders know how to leverage restraint and preparation into decisive action. That day wasn’t just about winning a match--it was about being ready when the call came, showing respect even when it wasn’t returned, and remembering that leadership is built over time, not claimed in a moment.   Several years ago, I commented on a video with a leadership message posted by the then U.S. Air Force 509th Bomb Wing Command Chief Master Sergeant. Just a quick note: “Nice video Chief!” I wasn’t expecting what came next. The Chief responded: “Thanks Cliff, I tell my Airmen about the leader you are. You were the subject of one of my ALS speeches. You led by example and inspired me to be the best Airman I could be.” Reading that stopped me in my tracks. It was humbling—deeply so. I replied with the only words that felt honest: “I appreciate that more than you know. I’ve talked about you to many people in and out of the Air Force. To have had a small influence on the great leader you’ve become has made me very proud and humbled me even more.” Here’s what this reminded me about leadership: ✅ People are always watching. You never know who you’re inspiring just by showing up with integrity, consistency, and commitment. ✅ Leadership is legacy. It’s not just about the role you’re in. It’s about the influence you leave behind in others. ✅ Recognition matters. A few sincere words can fuel someone’s purpose for years to come. ✅ Humility keeps you grounded. Hearing that I impacted a leader I respect so much reminded me why staying humble is non-negotiable. ✅ Mentorship flows both ways. Even when you’re guiding someone, you’re learning, growing, and becoming better in return. I’ve always believed in leading by example, but this moment reaffirmed why it matters. Leadership isn’t about seeking credit. It’s about investing in others, staying true to your values, and leaving people better than you found them. To the Chief—thank you for the kind words. And to all the quiet leaders out there: Keep showing up. You’re making more of a difference than you realize.   Friends, What you’re about to read comes from years of frustration—and it’s not from critics or outsiders. It’s from people in our own community who’ve helped undervalue what we do. The World’s View of Martial Arts: A Story Not long ago, a friend who works at a local country club invited me to speak with their Fitness Director. They were looking for someone to teach a self-defense seminar for mothers and daughters in the community—spurred by a string of recent attacks, including one near their greenway. I arrived on time, dressed professionally, and shared my background: - 30+ years teaching martial arts - Owner of a successful school for over a decade - 8th Degree Black Belt, former kickboxing champion - National and international martial arts titles - Member of the U.S. Air Force Taekwondo Team - 20-year Air Force veteran, military policeman, and defensive tactics instructor The Fitness Director listened, then outlined their expectations: - A 45 minute to 1 hour seminar (my standard runs 2+ hours) - A Monday or Wednesday evening (high-traffic times for my academy) - Payment options: either a flat fee (undisclosed), or $75 per person split 50/50 with the facility I thanked them for their time, said I’d consider it, and walked out. But as I left, I noticed something: luxury cars, manicured grounds, a child’s birthday party in progress (at noon on a Friday), designer clothes and accessories… and it hit me: They’re not negotiating because they can’t pay. They’re negotiating because they don’t value what we do. Today, I Stop Settling I’ve agreed to terms like this before—cutting content, cutting time, and cutting price—to “get in the door.” Not Anymore. I’ve spent my life building this expertise. What I teach isn’t a demo—it’s a life skill that can save lives. And I won’t let anyone—club, client, or colleague—set the value of my services without respecting the investment behind them. Martial arts instructors, especially those of us who come from humble, service-minded roots, tend to give more than we charge. We do it for love. We do it for impact. But if we don’t respect our value, no one else will. The Bigger Point (Beyond Martial Arts) This isn’t just about martial arts. It’s about anyone in any profession who has spent years developing expertise in a field others take for granted: - If you’re a creative professional expected to “volunteer your vision”… - If you’re a coach, educator, or healer undervalued by a results-now world… - If you’ve ever been asked to “do it for exposure” while others profit… This message is for you too. You don’t have to be arrogant. You don’t have to be confrontational. But you do have to decides: Do you value what you bring? Or are you letting others define it for you? A Final Word People pay without question for manicures, massages, hair color, and golf lessons—often tipping 20% on top. Yet somehow, a seminar that teaches women and girls or anyone, how to protect themselves draws hesitation. That’s not a pricing issue. That’s a perspective issue. So from now on, I teach on my terms. If you value what I offer, you’ll pay the fee I ask. If not, I’ll respectfully pass. Stand firm in your worth. The right people will meet you there.   As a retired Senior Noncommissioned Officer in the U.S. Air Force, I’ve spent my career in leadership—training recruits, mentoring instructors, teaching in schools, and running a martial arts academy. I’ve learned one truth over and over again: Leadership isn’t about rank or position. It’s about trust. And not every military leader understands that—especially in uniform. A Cautionary Tale from the Academy Being selected as an instructor at the U.S. Air Force Security Forces Academy was a career highlight—but it revealed a hard truth: not all leadership environments are healthy. Our Chief, the Senior Enlisted Manager, was known for punishing instructors who returned to their primary duties after their 4-year term—using his influence to assign them undesirable posts. It was a fear-based tactic to keep experienced instructors in place. Word spread, and fewer qualified candidates applied. The result? New recruits missed out on the mentorship they needed. Instead of fostering loyalty, the Chief used connection power to control others. He could have built a culture of excellence—instead, he bred distrust. I refused to be a casualty of that mindset. I applied for recruiting duty—an assignment outside his influence—and was selected within 30 days. He wasn’t happy. But his leadership drove people away, not forward. The Bigger Lesson Military culture emphasizes structure, discipline, and execution. But when leaders confuse authority with effectiveness, they miss the mark. Real leadership requires: - Respect over fear - Inspiration over intimidation - Empowerment over control Without those qualities, even the most experienced senior NCO can undermine morale, talent retention, and mission success. If unchecked, this leadership style won’t end with the uniform—it will carry over into civilian life. The Misconception: 'Military Leaders Are Natural Civilian Leaders' There’s a widespread belief that military experience automatically produces great leaders in the civilian world. And while veterans bring valuable traits—discipline, work ethic, adaptability—that belief overlooks a crucial truth: Military leadership is built in a controlled environment. Civilian leadership is built in a fluid one. In the military, roles are clear, chains of command are strict, and consequences are immediate. But in the civilian world: - Teams are flatter - Motivation is intrinsic, not enforced - Influence must be earned, not assumed Leadership Must Evolve Through my experience—as an leadership instructor, recruiter, educator, and martial arts coach—I’ve come to believe this: Leaders are measured not by how many follow orders--but by how many choose to follow when they don’t have to. We need more leaders in and out of uniform who value people, build trust, and use their influence to lift others—not control them. Have you served under someone who misused their influence? Or someone who inspired you to lead better? I’d love to hear your story—and how it shaped your view of leadership.   When the COVID-19 pandemic hit, the U.S. government ordered the shutdown of nonessential businesses. Many didn’t survive. To make matters more difficult, federal and state eviction moratoriums left landlords across the country without rent from struggling tenants. In January 2020, our landlord, “C.G.”—who we’ve been with since 2013—called with a message I’ll never forget: “If your dojo revenue is down, don’t worry about the rent. Don’t take food off your family’s plate to pay me.” C.G. voluntarily waived our rent during the most uncertain months of the pandemic. His decision wasn’t based on a contract or obligation—it was grounded in empathy, long-term thinking, and a deep sense of community. Thanks to his leadership, we were able to: • Stay operational when so many others closed their doors • Continue supporting our students and community • Emerge stronger from a once-in-a-generation crisis What makes this story even more meaningful is that we never asked for relief. Despite the hardship, we continued paying rent—because it was the right thing to do. C.G. knew our commitment and responded with compassion, not because we defaulted, but because we didn’t. That mutual integrity strengthened our relationship in a way no contract ever could. Leadership Lessons: C.G.’s actions are a blueprint for authentic leadership. True leaders look beyond profit and prioritize people. They understand that business success is deeply tied to community resilience. They lead with empathy, invest in long-term trust, and act with integrity—especially when no one’s watching. At Kinchen Martial Arts Academy, we strive to live by those same principles--because leadership isn’t just about what you do in good times. It’s about who you are in a crisis. Leadership isn’t proven in prosperity—it’s revealed in adversity.   Racing and martial arts share a fundamental truth: making critical decisions under stress can mean the difference between victory and defeat. As a martial arts instructor who's worked closely with NASCAR drivers at the Toyota Performance Center, I've witnessed firsthand how these disciplines create a powerful synergy that enhances driver performance both on and off the track. Through my work with the Toyota Performance Center's Developmental Program, I've seen firsthand how martial arts training transforms drivers' approaches both on and off the track. Isabella Robusto and Brent Crews, rising stars in Toyota's development program, have shown remarkable growth in their mental composure through their martial arts journey. Daniel Suarez's dedication to his mental and physical training was complemented through adding martial arts training to his regular routine. It enhanced his ability to stay focused during those crucial moments when split-second decisions matter most. Making him a serious competitive threat at the highest level - the NASCAR Cup Series. One of my most notable experiences has been working with drivers Harrison Burton and Austin Hill. Burton's commitment to martial arts before his rookie Cup Series season wasn't just about physical preparation - it provided him with a foundation of confidence that proved invaluable during his transition to NASCAR's highest level. Just when the racing field and fans began to count him out, he bit down on his mouthpiece and won the 2024 Coke Zero 400 NASCAR Cup Series race held at Daytona International Speedway. Jesse Love and Chandler Smith's enthusiasm for incorporating martial arts into their development as drivers shows how the younger generation understands the value of cross-disciplinary training. Their dedication shows how younger racers are embracing this comprehensive approach to their craft. Perhaps the most compelling evidence of martial arts' impact on racing comes from Dean Thompson and Lawless Alan's journey. Their consistent training together led Thompson to take an extraordinary step - competing in a kickboxing tournament. This experience provided him with a new level of mental clarity and emotional control that directly translated to his racing performance. The benefits of combining martial arts and racing extend far beyond physical conditioning:
As motorsports continue to evolve, the benefits of integrating martial arts training into driver development programs is becoming increasingly evident: when the focus and discipline of martial arts meets the precision and speed of racing, the result is a more complete, confident, and capable driver. For aspiring drivers and racing teams looking to gain a competitive edge, this combination could be the difference between good and great in a sport where milliseconds matter.  Dean Thompson center. After sparring session in preparation for his kickboxing debut in December 2023.
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AuthorCliff Kinchen is a lifelong martial artist and seasoned leadership trainer who blends combat discipline with real-world leadership insight. With decades of experience—from Air Force instruction to corporate boardrooms—he helps others grow through confidence, character, and challenge. His writing sparks reflection, inspires action, and invites readers to lead from the inside out ArchivesCategories |
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