Fair Doesn’t Mean Favor: It Means Consistency

Many years ago, while stationed at Columbus Air Force Base, I found myself in a situation that tested my integrity, responsibility, and belief in fairness. I was 24 years old, a young Airman, and a single guardian raising my younger brother Chris, who was just 10 at the time. Balancing work and parenting wasn’t easy, but I managed it with discipline, and a carefully structured schedule.

I worked the day shift in Air Force law enforcement operations, holding a “critical position” as a Desk Sergeant, something akin to being both dispatcher and station lead. My schedule, though unconventional, allowed me to care for Chris and limit childcare to weekends. It wasn’t just convenient: it was essential.

Then I was late. Twice in a month.

Not egregiously late, just didn’t arrive the 30 minutes early that was custom for the role. A courtesy I normally upheld. But the second time, the shift sergeant told my colleague not to call me, a common practice when someone was running behind. Why? He didn’t like me, and this was his opportunity to push me off the day shift, a move that would have deeply impacted my family life and finances.

A few days later, I was summoned by the unit superintendent. Calmly and respectfully, I owned up to my mistakes. I explained what happened, not to make excuses, but to provide context. I told him I’d accept whatever discipline he deemed appropriate, but asked only to be treated fairly.

“If being late twice in a critical position is grounds for reassignment,” I said, “then the same should apply to my supervisor who’s been late four times, and to our armorer, who’s been late seven.”

He leaned back, nodded, and simply said, “You’re right.”

And then he added something I’ll never forget:
“Watch yourself. Being right sometimes comes with consequences.”

He kept me on the day shift, but warned that others may look for reasons to push back.

I took the lesson to heart.


Leadership and Life Lessons

Here’s what this moment taught me, and could teach any leader:

🔹 1. Accountability earns trust.
I didn’t deny my mistakes. I owned them without defensiveness. That shows maturity and self-awareness, traits every leader should model and recognize.

🔹 2. Fairness matters more than favoritism.
I didn’t ask for special treatment, I asked for consistent standards. That distinction revealed both character and conviction.

🔹 3. A leader’s bias can shape, or sabotage an organization.
Whether it’s personality conflicts, unspoken grudges, or unexamined bias, a leader must recognize how their perceptions influence their actions. If not checked, it can cost the team good people and integrity.

🔹 4. Courage means standing your ground…respectfully.
Speaking truth to power isn’t about being loud or combative. It’s about being calm, honest, and willing to accept the outcome. That earns real respect.

🔹 5. Great leaders listen, even when it’s inconvenient.
The superintendent didn’t just hear me, he listened. He evaluated facts over feelings and responded with fairness. That moment strengthened my respect for him and my commitment to our unit.

Some lessons stay with you for a lifetime, not because of how loud the moment was, but because of how quietly it tested your core. This was one of those.

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