Filling Their Tackle Box: A Parent’s Role in Growth

We recently had one of our teen black belts return to class after an extended break. His parents had reached out ahead of time, expressing some concerns about his behavior as he gets ready to enter high school. He’s a bright kid, valedictorian of his 8th-grade class, but like many his age, he’s trying to find his footing.

His dad brought him to class that evening, and as we exchanged greetings, I told him how glad I was to see him back. His dad smiled and said, “I told him if he’s not going to listen to me, then listen to Master Kinchen.”

We chuckled, but the moment stuck with me, especially something I shared with the student then: “I know parents can feel overbearing sometimes. But all we want is to know you’ll be able to thrive in this world when we’re no longer here.”

That thought stayed with me for days. And it brought to mind the old proverb:
“Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Teach a man to fish, he eats for a lifetime.”

Isn’t that what parenting really is?

We’re all out here trying to raise the best fishermen we can. We enroll our kids in strong academic programs. We sign them up for sports, music lessons, martial arts, anything that helps them build skill, character, and resilience. In a way, each of those experiences adds something to their tackle box: a stronger line, better bait, a sturdy rod.

I told the student’s dad, it takes a village. School might give them the bait. Piano lessons might give them the line. Martial arts? We might give them the pole. And with enough time and guidance, they’ll learn to cast, to be patient, to endure frustration, and eventually they’ll catch.


Leadership Lesson:

Whether in parenting, coaching, or leading a team, our role isn’t just to hand out answers, it’s to equip others to find their own. It’s to help them build the tools, the mindset, and the confidence to face life without us standing over their shoulder. That’s real leadership.

So parents, keep filling those tackle boxes. Keep teaching your kids to fish. And if you’ve got a few extra fish to leave behind, that’s okay too.

They’ll need something to tide them over until they can catch their own.

---