Kids Grow — Leaders Must Too

One Saturday afternoon, while working as desk sergeant/dispatcher at Columbus Air Force Base, I got a call about two groups of preteen girls who had gotten into a brawl. Yes, a full-on playground scrap. Patrol units went out, broke it up, and everyone went home with nothing more than a story to tell.

When our shift sergeant came back, he wrote up the report and handed it to me. As I read it, one line made me stop:

“…the white girl was named Clare and the colored girl was named Mary.”

I looked at him and said, “You might want to change that word ‘colored’ to African American or Black.”

He looked puzzled. “Why?”

“Because this isn’t the 1950s. It’s the 1990s, and words like that don’t fit anymore. They’re offensive, maybe even seen as racist.”

He corrected it, but the fact that he wrote it that way in the first place stuck with me. It wasn’t just a word problem, it was a growth problem.


Why This Matters for Parents

That sergeant was in his 40s, from a small town, and he hadn’t kept up with how the world had changed. He was stuck. And when leaders get stuck, so do the people they lead.

It made me realize: whether in the military, at work, or at home, growth isn’t optional. If we don’t adapt as times change, we risk holding back the people who are looking to us for guidance.

And parents, this is exactly what we work on with your kids in martial arts. They’re learning kicks, punches, and forms, sure, but they’re also learning how to adapt, adjust, and grow when life changes.


Lessons for Our Kids (and Us)

• Adaptation isn’t optional. Just like leaders, kids must learn to adapt; at school, at home, on the mat.
• Personal growth shows everywhere. If kids learn discipline and respect here in the dojo, it shows in the classroom and at home.
• Awareness matters. We help them notice when their choices are outdated, or when they’re stuck in old habits, and give them the tools to grow.
• They reflect what they see. If we as parents and leaders keep growing, they will too.

The sergeant in that story wasn’t a bad man, but he was a man who hadn’t grown with the times. And that’s a lesson we pass on to our kids here every day:

You can’t stay stuck in the past if you want to thrive in the future.

Because resilience, just like leadership, and yes, even like milk, doesn’t age well unless you keep it fresh.

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