LEADERSHIP MEANS PROTECTING BALANCE—NOT DEMANDING SACRIFICE

When I was about 15 years old, my father pulled me aside for one of those conversations that, at the time, I didn’t fully appreciate.

I had a girlfriend I wanted to go see, but I’d done something wrong and my mother decided I was staying home. I was angry, typical teenager stuff, frustrated that she was keeping me from seeing the girl I liked.

That’s when my father stepped in. He told me something that stuck far longer than any teenage romance.


The Lesson My Father Taught Me

He said, “When you have a girlfriend, boyfriend,
​wife, or husband, it’s important to create a balance between them and your family. You shouldn’t put your family above your significant other, and you shouldn’t put your significant other above your family. You should always try to find a balance between the two.”

He paused, then added something that’s shaped how I see relationships ever since.

”Sometimes, life will require you to prioritize one over the other. That’s normal. But as soon as you can, you want to reestablish that balance. And if someone ever demands that you choose them over your family, or the other way around, that’s the one you need to leave alone. If they really cared about you, they’d never ask you to choose.”

I took that to heart. If someone genuinely cares, they’ll never force you into an either-or.


How It Shapes My Leadership Today

I’ve carried that lesson far beyond teenage relationships. It’s become a cornerstone of how I lead.

As leaders, we should never create an environment where our people feel they have to choose their job over their family, or anything else that gives their life meaning. It’s on us to make work-life balance more than a catchy phrase for the company website or a line in a job interview. It should be something real.

That means:

• Encouraging them to use their annual leave, PTO, or FMLA without guilt.
• Giving them extra time off when it’s possible, as a way to recognize a job well done.
• Respecting their time away, not bothering them with calls, texts, or emails when they’re on vacation or leave.
• And yes, sometimes even nudging the scale in favor of their family and personal life over the job.

Because the truth is, many employees will naturally sacrifice their family time for work, thinking it’s what’s expected. When we show that we see and respect those sacrifices, it not only strengthens their bonds at home, it deepens their loyalty and connection to the team. In the long run, that kind of trust leads to better work, more engagement, and a healthier culture.


The Leadership Lesson

A good leader helps create balance, not force a choice.
When we protect our people’s families and personal lives, we build stronger teams, healthier organizations, and relationships that last well beyond the next deadline.

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