Life’s a Fight — That’s How We Grow

A few days ago, I was having a conversation with one of our adult students, a gentleman in his 40s who’s been training with us for a couple of years. He’s the type of person everyone likes: respectful, kind, considerate, humble. The kind of man you’re always glad to see walk through the dojo doors.

Our discussion revolved around a sparring session he recently had with one of our new adult students. The new student, also a nice guy, just hadn’t yet picked up on all the finer points of our dojo’s sparring etiquette. While we do spar with light contact to the head, it’s always controlled, and if someone doesn’t want to be hit in the head, we absolutely respect that.

During the round, the new student tagged our long-time student in the face several times. After asking him not to do that, he still got hit a couple more times. So, our student delivered a well-placed hook to the ribs to get his attention.

Later, he admitted he felt a little guilty about it. We talked it through, and I told him that sometimes that’s just how it goes; you give someone a heads-up, but when they’re still getting the hang of our sparring etiquette, you might have to do something to gently reinforce the boundary and keep things safe for both of you.

Then he said something that really stuck with me:

“You know, my old self wouldn’t have said anything or thrown that hook. I would’ve just gone home upset.”

He was genuinely surprised by how much he’s grown through training. I’ve known this man for years, long before he started martial arts. In fact, it took quite a while for him to step onto the mat in the first place, because he admittedly felt some apprehension. I pointed out that his old self might not have come back to training at all after an incident like that, and he agreed.

That’s the beauty of this journey. We can all grow, sometimes in ways we never expected. Often that growth is only revealed in moments of pressure.


The Leadership Lesson

As the leader of our dojo, it’s my responsibility to help our students achieve this kind of growth. It’s not just about sparring. It’s not just about martial arts. It’s about preparing people for life.

In business, that same growth helps someone stand up for themselves in uncomfortable situations. It gives them the courage to ask for the promotion or the raise they’ve earned; things that often aren’t simply given, but must be pursued with quiet confidence and self-advocacy.

As leaders, it’s imperative we cultivate that kind of personal growth before we step into leadership roles. Because once we’re in that position, it’s not just about us anymore. It becomes our responsibility to shield our teams from the unnecessary hits, so they can do their work effectively. It’s not just our voice we’re speaking up for…it’s theirs.

And so, we keep growing as individuals. We keep growing as leaders. Because ultimately, leadership isn’t about how many times we can take a hit; it’s about how many times we can stand up, speak up, and protect those who count on us.

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